People who reads my blog from back in the days would know that my blog is nothing but love posts, emo-love posts and pictures of my trips and small updates on my life once in awhile. People might also have a perception of me that I have nothing better in life but blogging about my love life bla bla bla and that I only hunger for love but that's not true. I have so many other things I love to do but when it comes to blogging, I feel like blogging about my feelings on this very subjective matter on 'love' makes my blog me. More Jane I guess? I do have many perspective in life other than love. Me sharing other things like oh what I use on my face is cool but my blog has always been a place for me to share my personal thoughts on what I went through in my relationships and don't question me why because I don't really know either. Just feels right for me? If you have an opinion about it, I'm sorry but that's none of my business. I couldn't care less about how people would look at me based on my own personal judgement.
The reason why I constantly blog about 'love' is because
My perspective changes from time to time about it. Every relationship I get into teaches me something new. So here's my take on love in June 2016. I learn more about myself and more about what I want and what is suitable for me. I grow from each lesson learnt and the best thing I learnt so far was that just because things didn't work out, the other person is not always the bad person. You meet people, people find you and things escalate from there. Eventually, things go south not because of neither's fault but simply because you guys just weren't right for each other. And that's okay. It's the same with buying a box of puzzle, trying to put them piece by piece to create the perfect picture. If you don't take two different pieces and try to fix them together, you would never know if they were supposed to go together.
And that's okay.
I acknowledge the fact that in order for it to go south, two have to have their own faults. But then again, no relationship is perfect. It's only perfect when two people make mistakes and learn from each other of what they love and hate about the other person. It's only perfect when two people fight but could laugh and learn from that. It's only perfect when your heart still races to see each other even after a year of being together. Perfect when the other person take into consideration of what you said even if it's just about Ikea silverware. Even if it's about feeling like having a stick of lollipop. Perfect is when both make effort to keep the relationship alive. But these are just all my thoughts on love. My way of giving and receiving love.
And that's okay.
Not everyone has the same way of giving and receiving love. You just gotta find someone who would give you the love which fits your way of receiving and your way of receiving love is the way they give you. That person will come once you know the way you give and receive.
I'm still young, I have ample of time till that person comes. Until then, I wanna be as happy as I could be. I want to meet new people and make friends. Travel. Be around people who loves me for who I am. I don't wanna push it. As Phil Collins said in a song, 'you can't hurry love, you just gotta wait. She said love don't come easy when it's a game of give and take,'. But when the time comes again, I will give my all into my relationship. The way I always do when I get into one because I believe that if I say 'yes' to that person, I have promised to give my very best effort and love to that person. The only way I will let go is when I believe that I can no longer provide you happiness not because I don't want to, but simply because I can't anymore. I don't fit that puzzle and I want you to find that person who fits perfectly with you character and all the little things. Someone who would give you the love you want to receive.
And that's okay.
Just because I don't belong with you, it doesn't mean I hate you. I want you to be happy from the very bottom of my heart. If we ever bump into each other when we are in our 30s after work at a supermarket while picking up some groceries, I would smile at you and you would smile back. Maybe exchange a few words and wishes and you would go home to your lovely family and I will go home to mine. But all is well. We will be happy where we are. We will be happy why it never turned out the way we thought it would.
And that's okay.
I just really want you to be okay and happy. I want you to be doing well in life. I don't want to hate or be mad that things didn't work out. Maybe when the time is right, it would be you again. But even if it doesn't, I hope I gave you something to look back and smile from time to time. I hope I made you happy once. I'm sorry we couldn't last, but I hope you find someone who would make you feel like you're on top of the world and it's worth every ounce of you to make ways to keep her. If that was the best you gave me,
That's okay.
Thank you for everything.
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