Wednesday, September 08, 2010

Douche bag

No offence but I'm here to stand up for my little DANA YEOH :)
Forget about him.
I know it's hard and you know..
I know how it feels but think again, there's many more guys outside.
More ikan bakars :)

So don't worry.
There're less good guys but you can find one.
Don't worry!
:)

We love you.

Dying of Sin.

I am fun size :)

Okay, God, if you ever want to punish me for talking to him,
Please don't let my parents go crazy that's all.
Why can't they calmly talk to me?
Erk herm, I can see why they don't. Can't, actually.
So, please don't let dad know.



Sigh, It's been days since I've ever talked to him and and and I had a NIGHTMARE last night.
Nah, you don't need to know! No Not you silly, YOU.!
I guess talking to him reduced my mad-ness.
But I'm just gonna act like I didn't, just like yesterday.
I know I probably can't fool them but yeah.
Why can't daddy just let me be with him.


I don't get their problem, at all!
A child could never possibly know how it feels
But I've TRIED to.
Anyways, I can't always talk to him.

Probably just once in awhile?
And I'll have to find a way to live.



Dear you.
I mean what I said too.
But if, I'm saying IF I ever get hurt I'm just gonna give up everything and you know what's right and wrong what i like and don't like.
I know I'm pushy and crazy sometimes but,
I trust you.
I love you.
I don't wanna have an unhappy ending again this time.
I really want us to last.
I've already broken so many rules in the house.
I know I'm retarded.
I have faith in you.
College girls? Eff off, bitches.
He's minee!
So zip back your pants and lay off.


Its not an easy road you know?
And we have to nail it.
4 years? 4 Years la!
It'll past, and I swear no guy or girl will come between us.


My emotions aren't freaking stable though but yeah, I'll try to be okay at times.
Eat more.? Hmm.... NAH.
Thanks for everything :)



I Love You :)

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

The attacking cells.

I'm sorry that I can't help to not worry or think or stuff. You know?
It hurts so badly just thinking of you getting drunk.
I don't ever wanna see that..
I mean, what if you do something wrong?
I've a little too much about people getting drunk and doing stupid stuff and guess what??
Kiran just told me you guys are planning one party after spm.
Bigger, better, drunker!
Can you please don't get yourself drunk as hell this time?
I don't mid you drinking, just not over like that day.

I don't want anything to happen to you.
YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW IT FEELS SITTING HERE KNOWING YOU'RE DRUNK AND I CAN'T DO ANYTHING OR TALK TO YOU.
It hurts so bad.
I feel misereble all the fuckin' time.
I can't text you, can't msn.
I feel like cutting myself.
I may look okay but inside?

Each day is getting worst..
Each day is making me weaker..
Each day, I'm feeling nothing but pain.

And more pain..


The world is so unfair..
I don't know what to do right now.. I really wanna talk to you
But I don't wanna risk getting thrown out of the house by my dad.
Getting hated by my parents, saiblings, Family.
I don't want to but I can't stand not talking to you..

I sometimes think I'm quite selfish.
I sometimes think that I don't deserve such a great guy like you.
You don't deserve such terrible person like me.
I know it hurts you by talking like that but I can't help it.

My emotions are toying me like hell.
I am okay one minute but I'm not okay the next.
I know it's kinda annoying but I finally know how the feeling of bleeding love feels.
I finally know what pain is..
The feeling of your stomach churnning whenever you think or see or whatever-lah of that person who you loved getting hurt or so..
The thoughts can go so far that you'd over look or come many things.

I just want you to be safe.
I want you to always know that i love you.
I need you to always know that I'm here for you.
I need you to live..

I'm fuckin' serious.
I have no mood to joke.
I don't think I am ever the same person that I was.

I'm going now.
I love you, baby.

Monday, September 06, 2010

hungover.

You were drunk last night and I couldn't text you and ask if you're OK.
And I just saw your facebook wall, like girls were asking if you're okay and all?
That made me feel really bad.
Feel jealous and everything.
I couldn't DO anything.. It hurts so bad in here.
I love you and I couldn't sleep last night thinking about YOU.

My mind could only project your face smiling
And hearing that you were drunk made me feel really Really upset and bad.
I just want you to know what you're everything to me you know?

I didn't see you for ages, I didn't text you for ages, I didn't hear from you for ages..
It's a terrible feeling..


I love you..
Promise you'd not give up on me?
I really trust you..
You mean everything to me and I'm not just saying that.
I mean IT.

I weren't there when you're drunk..
Remember what you told me last time?
That you'd take care of me if I got drunk
and I'd do the same if YOU were,
But I wasn't there.
I didn't see you for weeks and my heart aches everytime I think of you.
I wish I was there to hug you and be with you,
and tell you not to drink so much.

I feel that the crap happened all because of me.
Everything was my fault.

Promise me this would be the last time you'd drink.
(ps, I wanna know what you cursed last night :[ )
Please..

I Love You :)
Take care darling.

Sunday, September 05, 2010

I miss you



Hey, my second post of the day.
I just wanna tell you I miss you..
Bet you're having fun now.
Glad you are.
Wells, Life seems empty and boring without you.

Learning a way to survive it seems impossible. Boo.
You know?
I still remember you didn't let me sit beside your friend during the battle of the bands because he's pervy?
Thanks.
It's really sweet that you're so protective..


My dad shocked me..
Wells, I was lucky to closed this thing on time.. He was warning me about stuff so
I guess this is it :P


ILY - less than three

The crying.

Dear, nutcase.

Yesterday, Talitha, Nick JT, Bryan and my dear Dana came over to Midvalley.
I had fun but my mind wouldn't stop me from thinking about you.
Me and Tali went to F.O.S and tried on the Stewie shirt..
I remembered that I tried on the shirt with you that time.

Good memoriess :)
We walked over to Gardens and happened to stop by at Borders.
I couldn't help but wandered to our spot,
I sat there, thinking of you and tears started rolling down my cheeks..
It was a dreadful moment as I don't like embarrassing myself infront of them but I couldn't help it anyways..
Bryan bought me a starbucks lollipop.
Eventhough it was cherry, I ate it anyways.
Nick took some tissues and gave them to me.

Thanks guys.

I took a purple pen from the stationary section and doodled our initials on the wall beside our spot.
Thanks to Nick, Tali and Bryan they blocked me from the cctv.
I left the pen at some corner.
I miss you. Do you know that??

I kept thinking that you'd leave me but I was wrong.
I'm sorry.
I couldn't find a perfect person to talk to..
No one could ever replace you.

ILY
Janey♥




J♥J

Friday, September 03, 2010

Sorry, I'm such a dunggu.

Hey I just wanna say,
I don't mean to make you upset and stuff in that post..
I just can't help feeling this way, you know?

Everything is torture..
When I see you online and I can't talk to you??
It KILLS.

I'm serious..
I mean after all that happened just made me weaker..
Made me scared and feel unwanted just by a little excuse or so..
I mean, I just got more and more sensitive and demanding..
I don't mean to make things that way..

I know you're under alot of pressure and i'm sorry.
I hope you understand and forgive
and don't be mad.
I DO understand how you feel just that, I need to see you so badly.

I didn't talk or see you for merely 2 effing weeks.. It kills me you know??
Almost every second I click on your blog link to see if you blogged about today..
I just am frigging sorry..

I wish nothing ever happened..

I will always love you♥



********
[c=31][s]PIG! xD[/s][/c] says:
Even if u're dead, I doubt he'll rmb u 4ever...
cz once he gets another girl, the whole story changes
[ LittleLii♥ ]™ | J&J says:
...
you wanna make me cry somemore
[c=31][s]PIG! xD[/s][/c] says:
I'm jz telling u
***********

Boo.

Booger, another tiring day.
These days, my life seems so boring that even a 'Your mama' joke couldn't make me feel better.
Anyways, I'm still upset about yesterday.
I guess I was pretty stupid.. Till now.
I mean you can't blame me for feeling or being this way..

Hui Lim told me that even if you're sick?
You'd be there if you really love someone..
Hearing that makes me feel so unwanted..

Do you know?
I walked all the way there just to see if you were there? No, you weren't... I know I can't blame you for that..
After I got home I rest and my legs were numb, my back just ached so badly?
And I had tuition at night..
Things just got worst.

I feel like you wanna escape from the reality leaving me behind in here..
I just got the feeling you don't want anything to do with me anymore..
I know it may seem wrong and stupid for me to post this, but I just can't help it..



I'm just so tired of everything..
Sometimes I just feel like giving up..
I'll stop waiting when I KNOW that, you're not gonna wait anymore
Not 100% guys are going to wait for you like that.

But,


I do trust you but sometimes you gotta believe in reality.
I AM waiting, don't misunderstand but the problem is... How long?

Same to you?
How long will you wait?

One month?
4 months??


One Year?


Or





Till I'm 18?




I'm sorry if I made you unhappy with this post but what I'm saying is reality..

I L Y♥

Thursday, September 02, 2010

whatever.

I guess I was pretty stupid hoping that he'd come.
I waited. Waited and waited..
You didn't show up.
Thanks, Chuun. You lost. He DIDN'T..

Whatever.
I don't care..

Why am I such a pooper?
I mean, I should understand he's busy, tired etc etc..
But, I guess I'm just being sensitive and demanding.
Pretty much a bitch.
I feel bad.
I don't wanna end up like this, but everything just made me not vulnerable.

But think again..
I'm quite stupid for looking at the window or staircase every 5 seconds.
Turning my head everywhere incase you might pop out
Or? I don't know.. I went to 100 Yen and memories just popped out, flash backs..
I saw the packet of lollipop and I thought of getting it but I didn't have enough money..
I wanted to cry like everytime YOU came to my mind..

It's like a knife stabbing me..
It has been 2 weeks since I've talked to you..
It's torture seeing you ONLINE but I can't say a word to you.
I've promised my parents I wouldn't do it.

I need a break.
My smile disappear after I finished my plate of food and not seeing you.
I decided to leave.

I just don't know anything anymore..
I'm confused.
I'm tired.
I'm exhausted.
I'm depressed.
I'm just done..

I Love You♥

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Misery

I read your blog, it's been days since I've blogged.
With all these shit happening and all the things happening to fast and all?
I miss you so much everyday it hurts!
Reading you blog just made me cry
I'm actually OKAY at school but inside I just am filled with pain.
I tell Nick every single day that I miss you.

Everyday I think of you
Thoughts of you not waiting for me or dating other girls or not wanting me anymore just kills me.
I end up thinking stupid things but I'm waiting for you.
I'm waiting and I have faith in you.

I always tell me friends how much I miss you.
I just wanna look at you.
Just a glimpse of you would make me feel better.

I actually feel better after reading your blog.
I understand how you feel.
My phone's dead too, ever since we stopped texting each other..
I missed the times when I reach home every afternoon and look at my phone with a message that goes ''Hey bii or dear or sweetheart, I'm home! IMYSM.''
It makes me sadder.

Watching love stories and listening to love songs?
The song you always play on guitar? Tears in Heaven?
It's makes me really SAD and I can't help but to think about all the times we've had together..

...I miss you.
I will WAIT.

Thanks for everything.
I love you♥