I'm sorry.. It's all my fault. I spent my night crying to bed. I didn't smile much. Spending my times sulking. I couldn't do anything without thinking about him. The songs that came out on the radio are all emo. All about breaking up. That makes me feel even more to cry. I can't.. Get him out of my mind. He was my everything. I still care for him but things aren't going back the same for him. I can't stop crying.! I can't stop thinking about him. I couldn't stop listening to songs that's about breaking up.. I really don't know what do to.. I really don't wanna be like this. It's torturing me. I really can't stop crying... Hope that I won't cry when I see my friends.. better worst seeing him.
I'm really sick. I'm feeling cold but sweating. Haih.. I can't describe ho torturing it is. now. I kept reading his messages. I couldn't bare to stop crying. Is it my problem? Am I being too tight? Yeah I guess so. Crying silently.. Is it a choice? Why is life so unfair? Like what a friend said.. Get up and stay strong.. Saying is easy.. Doing is hard.. I can't do it at all. He IS diffrent now.. I don't want it. IT'S ALL MY FAULT. Yeah it is.. I'm sorry for doing that. I get mad at you for no reason.. It's bad huh..? If i could wish for anything? I'd wish to go back.. I'd never thought that the day would come this fast.. I don't blame him for hating me now. But I really hope that he won't be like that..
Is Dana right? I feel for him but he doesn't..? He's not worth it..? I kept denying it.. But the fact is.. How long can i deny it? The pain is really killing me.. It's torture and painful. I can't stop crying.. I'm lucky to have friends by my side.. But I still feel really empty. I coudn't stop thinking about the times we spent together. It hurts.. So deeply. But I guess it doesn't matter to him anymore.
Special thanks to Dana, YN, DS(:
Blog more if i feel like it.. Sorry.
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