I cut myself.

hey people.

When you have both things, sometimes you have to choose one.

But in MY case. I have none.

I have nothing but depression and eff.

I know I'm suppose to be okay.

I know I'm suppose to smile and let go of every shit that happened.

But, I can't.

You know what's the hardest thing?

I know this may make me sound really selfish but you know what?

living.

I feel like dying all the time.

I ain't kidding.

No one understands how I feel.

When people, friends etc etc tells you they know or they'd be here for you-

Yesh, they WILL. But they really DON'T know how you're feeling.

I feel depressed all the time.

I don't think I deserve all these shit pains.

But yet, I still get all the pain.

Every night, I'd stay up till like what, 3? how late? I don't know-

Staring at the keychain you gave me.

Thinking to myself, Have faith, he loves you. HE'LL WAIT.

Trying to be positive is so hard.

I have to get out of the hole, somehow.

But how?

I feel like such a bitch talking like that.

I always got the feeling- OH he's doing fine without you, Jane.

Let it go. Let it all go..

I know that's just me.

I know that my thoughts are controlling me.

I know that, eventhough the world hates me there's still people in the world who loves me.

Crying- doesn't help much.

Then why am I still crying?

Yesh- because I rely on crying to get me out of matters.

I chose to trust you.

I don't give a shit on how my parents tells me how bad you are.

I just wanna be with you.

Even YY gave me lecture

That was like morphine.

It helps for awhile, and it wears off.

And my depression is back.

I'm sensitive and weak now.

I'm out of my mind.

Sooner or later I might just stop eating. I hate food.

Whats the point of food.

I feel insecure.

Really REALLY insecure.

All the laughing, all the craziness?

Was just a mask.

Sometimes, I feel like giving up life.

I mean it.

But I won't do it.. unless something happens.

Don't worry about me.

You have bigger things to worry about.

iloveyou.