Let go.

Hey, Sorry for not blogging for days.

Dad forgotten to pay the internet.

Anyways, do you miss me?

I fugging miss you.

I really do.

Just read your blog..

Wells, aslong as you're okay then it's okay.

I've been having really bad flu and I went to the doc yesterday.

I'm having a bad cough and I had a slight fever.. I still went tuition anyways..

Took some pills and hung out with Dana, Hui & Ann.

They came over.

Dana told me that her brother waited for his gf for 3 years.

Hearing that makes me feel that we can do it.

I know we can.

I've been talking to Vee lately.

Alot.

But talking to him is quite useless.

Baby, don't worry okay?

He's a friend.

I mean, I kept telling him how much I miss you and everything

(PSH, i think he thinks that I'm annoying about that)

And he's like a robot to me.

Pfft, all he does is critique me.

Even though we talked about our old times,

my heart only beats for you now..

Forget about him la,

My insecure feelings has gotten worse.

But I learn to keep it to myself.

In school I may seem okay but everyday,

I'd turn to Hui and ask her :~

Do you think he'd wait?

She's answer Yes, with a smile.

But I still tend to think- ALOT.

Like mad.

Last night, i had a cramp.

Right leg..

It has been 6 months since I had one..

Remember?

I wanted to stand and cry but I was too tired..

I pressed everything back and tried to go to sleep.

But I couldn't sleep.

So I just stared at the keychain you made for me..

Till I drifted to wonderland.

I really hate living now.

I know I'm really negative but yeah.

I tear easily.

I know I'm useless.

I always have the fear of you giving up..

But you have other things to worry about first la..

So don't care about me first la..

Spm is coming..

You have better things to worry.

I feel like giving up..

Like really.

I mean, aren't there better girls out there?

What about next year?

You're going to college..

3 years is a long time.

There'll be girls who wants to date you and YOU would wanna date other people, too.

Would you really REALLY wait for me?

A girl who can't go out with you anymore now for like what? 3 years.?

I'm trying to be strong.

I'm trying not to show my feelings inside.

But how long can i hide?

This is where I can tell it all out..

What if he doesn't wait? I asked Dana that day.

He'll regret. Thats what she say..

I don't even know how I feel.

Seeing my friends with their love ones made me feel really empty.

Like why am I forbid to see you?

Why am I too young?

I have nothing to say to my family sometimes.

I rather hide in my room.

Thats how I got sick..

I'm sorry.

I love you.