It's quite obvious. And my pillow case is NEW.
Anyways, I removed the keychain under my pillow and talked to vee till like 3 in the morning.
Bitch. Total bitch of me.
Anyways, I actually was okay until I slept.
And woke up next morning feeling like dirt.
So I text vee saying i feel really sucky.
He replied quite late, I had already left for school.
I reached school and I could feel this heavy feeling in my stomach and throat
but I tahan-ed it.
Untill Hui Lim and Carmen reached
My tears came pouring.
I tried to stop and I did.. just for afew seconds but I raced to Synn Yi and told her everything. We went to toilet and kinda skipped perhimpunan.
Amanda(a senior) came ronda-ing the block and she saw me and synn.
And Sze
She left us alone but told us to go down as soon as I'm okay.
I cried so much that I finished a packet of tissue at once.
I know I was supposed to stay strong and be okay
but obviously I have sads in me.
I was quite quiet the whole day.
I suddenly got high and went crazy.
I kept blurting stupid things out and got really crazy.
Then it was too much for me..
I squatted down and Sze, Carmen and Hui thought I was having some hungover moment but
Suddenly tears came pouring down.
I couldn't help myself but to let everything out
Since I could only be ME at school.
It was too much for me to handle.
It happened a little too many times.
After I stopped Synn asked us to go toilet with her.
Sze and I went with her and I couldn't help not crying.
I looked down from the block.. Cried more.
Brandon said something hurtful to me earlier.
So did Hui.
She said: I never got dumped before and that really hurt me. I got dumped 4 times..
I kept quiet till the final bell rang.
I was feeling more representable after that..
Though I still am upset.
When I told him I was fine last night, I really was.
But obviously it's hard.
IT'S A BREAKUP.
Anyways, planned to go KFC with Sze and Vee and soon a whole group told me they'd go too.
HAHA Vee's car might burst.
After that, I went to Seng Kee and ate.
Forced myself.
My stomach wasn't feeling well. I had gastric earlier.
I actually didn't wanna eat in school but Sze and Synn forced me and I did.
Shoved nasi lemak into my mouth.
Tasted like crap.
Reached home, checked my phone.
3 messages.
Vee.
Hui.
Vee.
Vee was asking if I was okay.
I told him that I cried and he said he thought I was okay last night.
Hui wanted me to help her get magazines.
Now I'm texting with Synn.
Oh I missed out something!
I was so bored and moody I dug out my ruler and started using the edges to scratch myself.
I know I promised everyone not to hurt myself.
But this isn't bleeding.
So I just played with my ruler and then Sze took a pin out and started cutting herself with it.
She helped me too, in my own will. Duh.
My arms are full of light scratch marks.
Don't bother.
Wells, Life really sucks.
I wanna get wasted so badly now with Ong Sze Yie.
And Yeoh Synn Yi.
And Ann Irvina Ravinther.
1,2,3,4.
I'm done.
Cheers.
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